pray for mecca

Apparently pregnancy makes the fathers hormonal and crazy too. Who knew?

I love fruit in the summer time. There is absolutely nothing like it. I swear these cherries I'm eating are so red they're nearly purple in color. And no, that's not because they've gone bad.

Delphini loves it when I plait her hair. Letting her return the favor? Not the best idea I've ever had. Oh well, I was in desperate need of a hair cut anyways.

I forgot how wonderful it is to have another person around to talk to. I'm afraid the poor girl is going a bit stir crazy in this house though. She's used to a lot more freedom than her new circumstances allow. Mandy, you were kind enough to invite us over awhile back. Is that offer still on the table? I'd love to take you up on that. Considering I had to endure a THREE hour lecture on what would happen to me should I try anything or if anything were to happen. Three. Hours.

I don't suppose anyone knows anything about six year old girls? I'm pretty sure I skipped that year of life.

Doomed.

I can teach her the proper way to grow up a good Muslim wife. Lestrange would love that. It's like being a Pureblood trophy wife with the added bonus of a hijab and the possibility of eternal damnation.

بعد اعتراف ليس من المألوف اليوم للاحتفال بذكرى أعياد. وبالطبع فإنه يسمح هدية والدي دائما وحصلت لنا واحدا فقط, بل انه لم يكن متوقعا. لقد كنت عشرين يوم أمس, وها أنا الآن واحد وعشرين, وسوف أكون غدا أيضا. ومع ذلك فقد تميزت أوضحتها منذ ثلاث سنوات هذا اليوم. لقد أعطيت الإذن تخرج. ولعلي وكذلك يفعل ذلك في الاسلوب.

أحتاج إلى شراء بعض الأحذية. 

القانون وحقوق اننى عندما تنضج الحكمة القديمة ويوم واحد وعشرين.

I bet you can't guess what I'm about to do.


Translation: Beyond the recognition of the day it is not customary to celebrate birthdays. Of course a gift is allowed and my father always got us one but it's not expected. I was twenty yesterday, now I am twenty one and I will be tomorrow too. Still, it has been three years since I've marked this day. I've been given permission to go outside. I might as well do it in style. I need to buy some Boots. I'll be mature and sensible when I'm twenty one and a day old.

Food poisoning is not the best possible way to spend the first day of May, but it's also not the worst all things considered. Despite yesterday I'm actually beginning to think I might  make it to 21. I honestly didn't expect to. Not that it is an old age it just didn't seem possible a year ago. It didn't seem possible a few months ago. I know he let me off easy. What I don't know is why. Not that I am complaining, it's simply curious. I can't even write in Turkish now that he has a dictionary. I might not be as lucky next time.

I tried to remember some old riddles from Hogwarts to keep my mind off things. If anyone has any I would love to hear it. This is the only one I could remember: What goes around the world but always sits in the corner?

It seems quite a few people, myself included, have been rather down lately. In school when I felt this way I would always distract myself. For me, debate was always something I loved to do. Sometimes I would argue the opposite opinion of what I thought just so I could keep the conversation going. I've been thinking about those times a lot lately. Arguing religion with yourself isn't nearly as fun as it is with other people. Sahip isn't the conversationalist you would think. Lestrange is a step up but not exactly open for free debate. I continue to do as my Master asks, play with Sahip, read and work on translations but I feel I must be a bit more inventive when it comes to stimulating my mind. Todays project  was a review of maths and angles.

ÖĞrendim eğer slide ise trabzan you can çarpan doğusunda kat in soketler ve slide yaklaşık dört arşındı. Bence eğer açısı kendimi geriye bir daha dar bir açı I can kamyonet benim hız yeterince slide kapı. Tabii, bir daha dar bir açı I zarar herhangi bir kontrol I önceden. Belki de aşığıyken zemin I ulaşabilir aynı sonuçları. Daha Fazla denemeler yapılması gerektiğini kaydetti.



Translation: I learned that if you slide down the banister you can hit the hardwood floor in socks and slide roughly four feet. I think that if I angle myself backwards at a sharper angle I can pick up my speed enough to slide to the door. Of course, with a sharper angle I lose any control I previously had. Perhaps if I buff the floor I can reach the same results. Further experiments must be done.

Bir giydirip! 'nin ilk yeni urbansky'dayım el yıl. YIL. Ben olduğuna hiç ne gibi hisseden. Ben güvende neredeyse insan gibi, bir kez daha bir kız bile. Yeni giysi, kim dedim hiç olmadığı kadar olacağını diye için ayağa? Şimdi bir şey de için düğün, teşekkür Ederiz.

Mandy, it's absolutely stunning. I can't believe you made it!  When could you possibly have time? I still can't believe he let me have them. I don't think I've ever had robes that beautiful before. I hope I do them justice at the wedding. Oh, one minor concern...You seem to have forgotten to make the bottom half.


*Translation: A dress! The first new piece of clothing I've hand in years. YEARS. I can hardly believe what it feels like. I almost feel like a human again, a girl even. New clothes, who would have thought I would ever be so excited for that. Now I have something for the wedding, thank you Prophet.

Mr. Lestrange was kind enough took me to a healer yesterday so that I can once again be of use to him. I can pray as I am supposed to. I can actually move again! Please excuse the foreign symbols, I am translating this so that I can practice.

Da herkes gibi eden değildir. Böylece, herkesin, anımsa çok yumuşak, pufla gibi ya da bir şey bir tavşan.

يعرف أنه مهما لذا يرجى الامتناع عن تعلم اللغة العربية قراءة هذااسمحوا لي انه يبقي جرو. أنت ليس من المفترض أن .


*He would like everyone to know that he is not soft. So, everyone, please remember he is not soft, fluffy or anything that resembles a bunny.
**He let me keep the puppy. You are not supposed to know that however so please refrain from learning Arabic as you read this.

{Words are shaky and smeared with red from where she tried to wipe off the drops of blood.}

I wronged my master and was rightfully punished. I apologize for any and all offense.

أشعر سعيد حقا!  My master has seen it fit to honor me with the task of training and caring for a puppy. It is a rather adorable thing, though I have the feeling it is going to grow into the size of a small Hufflepuff. Sahip is extremely charming and hyper and I know it will be a great distraction from the quietness of an empty house. I've missed having a friend company. I will even be allowed to play with it in the backyard, a blessing I am sure I am not worthy of. Oh how I have missed the feeling of sun on my skin!

OUTSIDE! I haven't been allowed outside freely in years. I can run. RUN! Thank you Allah, thank you!

I hope that I continue to earn the  pure luck trust respect  privilege of opportunity in which to prove myself. I must go take Sahip out before he releases himself on the carpet. Oh the joys of a puppy!

*Translation:1. I feel truly happy!
2.Sahip- Master.

I have been moved into my new residence. I have my own room and am allowed to read and pray as I please. For now. Hopefully I can keep my mouth shut. I do believe my prayers have startled the house-elf however, he avoids me like the plague.  At least I think it's a he. The house is incredibly quiet, which is horribly lonely has given me time to think.  Mr. Lestrange has given me permission to read his books, a luxury I have been longing for immensely. All of them seem to be missing pages and I've only found two or three but It feels like I am sweeping out cobwebs from my brain. It has been such a long time since I have been mentally challenged.

I am using my free time to practice my languages. I hate not being productive and now I have the chance to do something. After all, one language is never enough. Bir dil asla yeterli değildir.   اتركيني

To my friends, all I can say is إشتقت إليك كثيرا  Inşallah sizi yine göreceğim.

*One language is never enough.
*I have missed you so much!
*I will see you again, Allah willing.

الشَّيْطَانُ يَعِدُكُمُ الْفَقْرَ وَيَأْمُرُكُمْ بِالْفَحْشَاءِ وَاللَّهُ يَعِدُكُمْ مَغْفِرَة ً مِنْهُ وَفَضْلا ً وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيم

I ignored my faith for so long and now that I am lost I seek it like a greedy child after sweets. I'd like to think that my belief is pure and noble but I fear I am seeking a golden calf for the promise of something better. I don't think so but I have failed Allah so many times and I fear I mock him now with my greedy quest for understanding.

I am afraid of so many things. I am too proud to admit how awful I have become. That too is a sin! I can't seem to do anything right.

I am to be picked up. I am to be a slave like so many of my people before me. I know what my mum would say, that this is a test but I can't help but find bitterness. I am trying to understand, I am trying to accept that he has a greater plan but it is so hard to do. I have faith, I know in my heart I do but I feel I am still not worthy, that my logic blocks my complete devotion. I never wanted to be submissive like I was supposed to be! I spent so many years trying to fight becoming a slave for a man like my mum and yet here I am. I can't help but note the irony there.

Bana Yardım bulmak için güç çıkarmayın. I will hold on to what I have and try to remember I am not alone. Ben bir köle için sadece Allah

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ 

*Arabic Qu'ran Translations: 1. The Evil one threathens you with poverty and bisd you to conduct unseemly. God promiseth you His forgiveness and bounties. And God careth for all and He knoweth all things.
2.Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.

*Turkish translations: 1. Help me to find the strength to understand.
2. I am a slave only to Allah